Yesterday, as I sat in Agape Church listening to Michael Bernard Beckwith, my mind wandered during his Easter afternoon message. Instead of listening, I thought about arriving too early, seeing Robin Wright Penn in the ladies room, and the condition of my life. (Come back into the service, Grace.) So, I thought about Michael’s speaking voice and how he amplified certain words with his style of inflection (though I did not hear what he was saying). My mind was not present and it was hard for me to focus. Finally, I perked up when he said, “Before you speak something, ask yourself these three things.” Now that got my attention, and this was what I needed to hear.

First, we were to ask ourselves, “Is it True, with a capital T?” Well, if I say my eyes are green, I live in Southern California and I love to paint, those are all True. But the rest, oh boy, not so much. Mostly I speak from my own opinions and perceptions with a view of the world that is so different from those around me. My words are true for me, but are they true for the listener? Probably not.

The next question to ask was “Is it necessary?” When growing up, my home was filled with non-stop chatter. No breathing room and no silence was allowed. Except when I was told to go to my room. Aah, finally some peace. So my early training was to talk, talk, talk. Just ask my boyfriend. He finally got me settled down a bit to enjoy each others company in quiet. But mostly, how much of what I say was to kill the silence and therefore unnecessary? Quite a bit.

Thirdly, “Is it uplifting?” Now this doesn’t mean that we should say things only to uplift others. We shouldn’t fake a compliment or make them believe we like them. We have to mean what we say. If it’s not True, then it’s insincere. If what I am about to say with sincerity will help someone feel better, then I can speak. Otherwise, I guess I should remain quiet.

Of course, Michael joked that we won’t be doing much talking after hearing all this. And I certainly knew that most of my words would be nullified if I ask myself these three questions before I am about to speak. Even before my words fall uncensored, though, are the thoughts behind them. And that got me thinking about my thinking.

So, what about the things we say to our self? What about our thoughts mulling around in our thinker? Are they True? Are they necessary? Are they uplifting? Our words start in our mind so maybe it would be best if we stopped our thoughts. Yet this poses a challenge that I have been aware of for most of my adult life and I have yet to accomplish. Can we stop the false, unnecessary, damaging words from popping into our heads?

First, we have to acknowledge that they are there. When that unwanted thought appears, we can say, “I hear you but I choose to change you.” When a negative thought enters our mind, we can turn it around into one that we want to be True. Every thought we don’t want to be true, stop, pause, and switch it to one we wish others would say about us—one that would make us really feel good.

Second, take time to meditate. To quiet your mind and release unnecessary thoughts, sit with your eyes closed and deeply breathe in and out. Continue breathing even though thoughts race through your mind. After a few minutes, scan your body for physical sensations, moving along every surface, inch by inch. You will be agitated and think this makes no sense or that it’s a waste of time. But each time you meditate with the intention of quieting your mind, know that a quiet mind breeds a quiet, harmonious life.

Lastly, be gentle with your self through your desire to change your thoughts. As you move towards peace, the opposite will surface. We must go through irritation to reach the other side. Coax your self along and speak uplifting words to help you continue. And most of all be grateful for the improvements you have already made.

Why should we do all this? I’m not sure where you are at in life but for me, there is a strong push to get peace and harmony embedded into my psyche. Mostly for my own inner strength and to have life flow abundantly. But also to bring this peace with me wherever I go and whoever I am near—to help others hear the Truth, to help them be filled with necessary beliefs, and to uplift them from where they now stand. And this I believe is part of our role on earth.

“Gold Power is silent. It shines without effort. It protects without force.” A few insights out of many that arose from painting this piece.

Color in Fashion

While watching Carrie prance around in brown chiffon Prada
I drew a picture of fashion I hoped to be proud of.

Red slacks, floral blouse, green hat, my oh my
Anthropologie catalog tells me to give color a try.

“Al oo eta” bouncing color dancers from the latest Target ad
Spin color through our typical, comfortable garbs of drab.

“Wear color” they say, it seems to be such fun and delight
Though color in my wardrobe has barely seemed right.

I stick to the neutrals, white, beige, brown and black
Bright colors are not something I often put on my back.

What color do you have on? I’m wondering, so I’ll ask
Do you find wearing color a near impossible task?

This art was painted by Elizabeth, a woman in my past workshop, and it was from the first exercise where we became freed up to paint. She discovered more than expected through the process and uncovered a part of her that needed to speak. She shares her story here to help encourage others to move past their excuses and to paint for self-expression. Here is what she had to say about her experience.

How do you view your ability to paint?
I didn’t know what I was doing. While painting, I was very self-conscious because I wasn’t free yet to paint. Everything I did felt wrong. One side didn’t match the other, it wasn’t symmetrical. You said, ‘let’s keep working on the same painting.’ It was foreign to me to work on the same painting and add layers. So it was all new and it was uncomfortable; I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything other than just put color down. But then this point came out, and it was the most amazing thing because of what we had done and it really just blew my mind. The whole thing just blew my mind.

Did any colors or shapes mean anything to you? Did the actual image have meaning?
The only other thing that made sense while I was painting was the red. Red kept coming up. It was either passion or rage or blood or being broken. Then these dots made no sense; they became like still photographs of planets, planets in their particular cycle. Then the whole middle part became many things. It became the Milky Way and it became a vagina and became a super highway. Through the words I wrote the painting began to make sense. The painting made no sense before I began to write, then the painting made sense. Whatever I had done, without knowing it, was what some part of me wanted to do.

Can you talk about what you discovered about yourself while doing the painting?
This being the first painting, I wasn’t there yet. I still felt these undercurrents, these parts of me and this feeling that there was something inside. I have done a lot of work on myself. It’s not as though I’m unconsciously walking through the world and yet there’s a part of me that wants to speak. I’m in touch with a lot of different parts of me but some were just coming up that seemed unsatisfied with any other medium. Although when the point came out, the poem had so much in it to tell me. It was clear that I had tapped into something, that I had tapped into some part of me that had never had expression before. It had never had a venue, an avenue of expression. And somehow just putting the paint on the paper, not knowing what I was doing, released this part of me that had so much to say.

Pushing Paint

Watch the video here.

Just the act of pushing around some paint, merging colors and spreading them out on a piece of paper is quite relaxing. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Don’t let the excuses stop you, though. Painting is a great stress reliever and is truly beneficial in more ways than we know. It only takes five to ten minutes out of your busy day to play with paint. This quick exercise will get you started. All you need is a small pad of paper, two tubes of your favorite colors (thinned out with a bit of water), a palette, and one brush, then you are ready to go. Have fun following along with the video and watch your stress melt away.

A couple I know was in a severe car accident eight weeks ago. The man suffered broken ribs and a badly bruised shoulder. The woman was rushed to the USC Trauma Center where the surgeon added pins and two rods to her spine. She is still recuperating  with physical therapy, she wears a body brace when she is up and about, and walks slowly with the help of a cane. Yesterday, I picked her up from her hair salon and took her to Home Goods to pick up a few items she needed. It was difficult for her to get around yet she maintained a positive outlook. She was grateful that she improved every day and getting back into her routine helped her appreciate life.

In this painting, I offered this couple more healing energy, finding places inside of each of them to soothe and comfort their physical as well as emotional injuries caused by this unfortunate event. Blue and purple came to mind as the colors to use. Iridescent pearl mixed in with these colors made them lighter and I also added gold metallic to blend with the opaque purple and blue.

The physical injuries are being nursed back to health with therapy so this painting will help both of them nurse their emotional injuries back to health. Questions unanswered afflict them. Yes, many have suffered greater, they think, and gratefulness is positive. But what do they do when their anger pops up, again and again, in their dreams, subconsciously announcing its presence? Here are the words that arose:

Let yourself feel your emotion. Allow it to rise up, give it room to bubble out of you, knowing that you are protected by healing energy at the onset. It needs to come out. Say what you feel without judgment. It is up and facing you straight on; acknowledge what you feel. Let it be what it is regardless of what you believed about how to handle your emotions. No one knows exactly how you feel, therefore, it is difficult for another to guide you as to how to process what is rising up inside. All you can do is put your arms around your emotions as you would a child in distress and say out loud what you would say to that child. What would you say? Allow that side of you to speak. He and she are part of you. Don’t disregard that place that needs your attention. Metallic white and gold glisten in the sun as I push it around my paper. It moves and streams in the water path as if something inside moves about.

Let yourself be where you are now. Let yourself express what you are feeling now. It is 9:30 am. Allow yourself every sense of freedom to be exactly who you are now. It is you, so let yourself be you. When you allow this, your questions find answers. The answers provide comfort along with reasons to think beyond your suffering. The truth inside you supports your feelings. Recant your taught feelings and renew the truth that needs a voice.

All is well. Your release is your healing. Your freedom to be is your solution. Now replace that opening with acceptance, total personal inner acceptance of all who is you. The soothing healing balm fills the void that was released. Whew. It is good, it is healthy, and you are calm. I push the blue into white, the purple into gold, small smudges and blending of each color into the next.

There is more you know. When your spirit is ready you will be told it is time. That’s when you release more of your truth with complete acceptance. My brush strokes are slow, soft, and small, carefully placed yet intuitively led. 10:30 am, finishing touches in gold foil and paint pens close out this session sending healing answers to this couple through our Spirit and Creator.

This morning, I thought to do a small painting for Dawn’s birthday today. She needed good energy sent her way and this prayer painting would help bring her light and love. The colors of yellow and green came to mind. What feelings does she need to let go of to allow well-being to flow? As I painted, a part of her lower left side needed love and light. It’s more than her physical body, it’s in her encompassing nature. Right now, at 9:00 am, as I merge yellow and green, something is healing within her, a mind-think, a program, an automatic pilot of a belief is dissipating. She knows what it is, not on the conscious level, but deep within. I wrote much more, most of which is personal… Waves of healing wash over her. They tumble and toss up the loose debris… A smoothness comes. It’s 9:53 am. She feels a release, something jumped out that didn’t belong.

What is Source? Some of us call it God, some call it the Universe or the Collective Wisdom. Whatever name we use, it is all that is true and good. It knows what is best for us. It guides us in the correct direction and helps us make the best decisions. It also helps us face the truth, our perfect truth, and make adjustments in our behaviors and our actions. It helps us obtain what is best. It keeps us on track and in the flow of all that brings us health and peace.

But what if we are disconnected and off track? What if we feel stagnant or are hindered by something or discouragements appear? How can we realign ourselves with our Source?

I felt a gentle tug, a pulling of some sort that wanted me to trust. It wanted me to give up my striving, to give up my worry, to give up my confusion. Amongst all the advice and council from this or that, how can I connect to the one true Source that can guide me through life with ease and comfort? I don’t believe we are supposed to be uncomfortable. I don’t believe that life should be a chore. I believe we should be guided through life fully connected, fully in tune with our Inner Source of all that is good, correct, and perfect for our selves. It’s uncomfortable for others when we follow our Source. Plus, things get rocky for us when we follow their advice. But we tell others our stories, our concerns, our dilemmas, and they offer their suggestions. We listen. We turn all possible options around in our heads, hoping to find the right solution. But they can never truly help us more than our Inner Wisdom. They can never really know what’s best for us. To surround ourselves with our Source, we must first stop asking others for help.

So how do we do all this? Create a painting, a visual that will help you connect.

I started this painting because I was affected by outside energy and I wanted to reconnect to my Source. I painted the center column in yellow, pink, and metallic gold. The edges were painted in metallic white as a protection and shell to keep what is not right for me from penetrating my core. The colors on either side are the outside world. The bubbles represent all the words I hear from friends, family, news reports, emails and internet articles. Source energy needs to engulf all the advice, all the words I hear from outside sources and squeeze them until they pop and dissipate. It is then, when the outside words are no longer inside of my mind, can I hear my true Source speaking. When I hear my Source, life becomes what I intended it to be from the beginning.

We may find some relief when confiding in others. Most often, it’s because we feel understood. When we talk with others it’s because we seek someone we can relate to, someone with whom we can commiserate with, someone whom tells us what we feel is valid. But eventually, we realize that all others can do is operate from their own circle of truth, and that may end up being far from our own. Once we understand that something beyond this physical world knows everything about us and that it knows everything we are capable of, we can point our minds to the omniscient spirit and connect to it on a spiritual level.

What better way to connect than with painting! If you wish to create a painting that will help you connect to your True Source, contact me and ask for the “Connecting to Source” instructions to create your own visual reminder. No matter what level of experience you have, you can begin your painting routine today. Looking forward to hearing from you. Just fill out my contact form and I will respond.

With a brush in hand and colors in our palette, we won’t want anything else to hold. That glass of alcohol won’t quench our thirst, that charge card we hand over to the store clerk won’t deliver, and that bag of potato chips or plate of cookies won’t fill us up. Holding a paintbrush takes over our old addictions and becomes our place of rest, where peace fills our soul and our inner wisdom speaks. If you have tried to remove an unwanted addiction with little success, painting will help. To receive this instruction, sign up for my blog subscription and a pdf will be emailed to you.

No Place Feels Like Home, 14.5" x 11"

While waking up Monday morning, I wanted to explore my being unsettled in my home. It’s been a year since my last move and I am still uncomfortable. Maybe a lack of good organization is affecting me. Maybe it’s because this is my 18th residence. Painting could help. With thinned out cerulean blue, I painted eighteen ovals; each one representing a residence; the longest was nine years, the shortest was six weeks. Raw umber and Dioxazine purple were also added for darker areas. In Sylvia’s class, she had us consider value. She suggested we cluster light colors together; squinting to see where these values connect. She encouraged me to make some of the ovals blend with the darker background so they were not all the same value. Being in a class with eighteen other women, I wrote very little about this painting. It did guide me to further organize my kitchen. But I want to feel settled inside no matter where I am.

Do you feel unsettled in any way? Explore your feelings in an abstract painting.

Exercise:
1. Write about what is making you feel unsettled for about ten minutes.
2. Select three colors, whatever colors first come to mind.
3. Thin one color with a lot of water for your lightest value.
4. Paint a shape or shapes to represent the area that unsettles you.
5. Add a darker value, thinned with less water, around the light color, merging edges.
6. As you paint, consider what small thing you can do to feel more settled.
7. Set aside one hour of your day to do what your inner wisdom guided you to do.