Yesterday, as I sat in Agape Church listening to Michael Bernard Beckwith, my mind wandered during his Easter afternoon message. Instead of listening, I thought about arriving too early, seeing Robin Wright Penn in the ladies room, and the condition of my life. (Come back into the service, Grace.) So, I thought about Michael’s speaking voice and how he amplified certain words with his style of inflection (though I did not hear what he was saying). My mind was not present and it was hard for me to focus. Finally, I perked up when he said, “Before you speak something, ask yourself these three things.” Now that got my attention, and this was what I needed to hear.
First, we were to ask ourselves, “Is it True, with a capital T?” Well, if I say my eyes are green, I live in Southern California and I love to paint, those are all True. But the rest, oh boy, not so much. Mostly I speak from my own opinions and perceptions with a view of the world that is so different from those around me. My words are true for me, but are they true for the listener? Probably not.
The next question to ask was “Is it necessary?” When growing up, my home was filled with non-stop chatter. No breathing room and no silence was allowed. Except when I was told to go to my room. Aah, finally some peace. So my early training was to talk, talk, talk. Just ask my boyfriend. He finally got me settled down a bit to enjoy each others company in quiet. But mostly, how much of what I say was to kill the silence and therefore unnecessary? Quite a bit.
Thirdly, “Is it uplifting?” Now this doesn’t mean that we should say things only to uplift others. We shouldn’t fake a compliment or make them believe we like them. We have to mean what we say. If it’s not True, then it’s insincere. If what I am about to say with sincerity will help someone feel better, then I can speak. Otherwise, I guess I should remain quiet.
Of course, Michael joked that we won’t be doing much talking after hearing all this. And I certainly knew that most of my words would be nullified if I ask myself these three questions before I am about to speak. Even before my words fall uncensored, though, are the thoughts behind them. And that got me thinking about my thinking.
So, what about the things we say to our self? What about our thoughts mulling around in our thinker? Are they True? Are they necessary? Are they uplifting? Our words start in our mind so maybe it would be best if we stopped our thoughts. Yet this poses a challenge that I have been aware of for most of my adult life and I have yet to accomplish. Can we stop the false, unnecessary, damaging words from popping into our heads?
First, we have to acknowledge that they are there. When that unwanted thought appears, we can say, “I hear you but I choose to change you.” When a negative thought enters our mind, we can turn it around into one that we want to be True. Every thought we don’t want to be true, stop, pause, and switch it to one we wish others would say about us—one that would make us really feel good.
Second, take time to meditate. To quiet your mind and release unnecessary thoughts, sit with your eyes closed and deeply breathe in and out. Continue breathing even though thoughts race through your mind. After a few minutes, scan your body for physical sensations, moving along every surface, inch by inch. You will be agitated and think this makes no sense or that it’s a waste of time. But each time you meditate with the intention of quieting your mind, know that a quiet mind breeds a quiet, harmonious life.
Lastly, be gentle with your self through your desire to change your thoughts. As you move towards peace, the opposite will surface. We must go through irritation to reach the other side. Coax your self along and speak uplifting words to help you continue. And most of all be grateful for the improvements you have already made.
Why should we do all this? I’m not sure where you are at in life but for me, there is a strong push to get peace and harmony embedded into my psyche. Mostly for my own inner strength and to have life flow abundantly. But also to bring this peace with me wherever I go and whoever I am near—to help others hear the Truth, to help them be filled with necessary beliefs, and to uplift them from where they now stand. And this I believe is part of our role on earth.
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